If you are reading this it is possible you have been in this isolating stage, through no fault of your own. This stage acts as a buffer for the shock and harsh reality of our situation. Moving through the pages on this website can help you tackle this stage by getting educated and empowered through knowledge of your implant and the necessary steps to take next. Denial is that feeling of shock and disbelief, it is like living in 2 worlds, the one that holds the truth and the other that is struggling to believe it, “is this really happening to me?”. We strongly urge you to be kind to yourself as you have suffered enough.

This can be a very uncomfortable emotion for most of us. Many of us will not have witnessed this potent emotion expressed in a positive way in our lives before. Women especially struggle with expressing anger and bearing witness to it.

“How did this happen?…. Who is to blame?”.

Many people report differing feelings, some blame themselves and others experience rage at their implanting surgeon or the government and regulatory bodies “they should have known and stopped this from happening”. Feelings of outrage and anger are normal and a necessary stage of the healing process, we can utilise our anger to get stuff done and make any necessary complaints to advocate for ourselves moving forward, like reporting your adverse effects to the TGA (Therapeutic Goods Association who record these things for Government agencies). Anger often brings change and with it the energy to keep going and moving forward.

Sometimes sadness can be overwhelming and all-consuming, it is a normal response to loss. Chronic illness and pain can erode what little sense of self we have left, coupled with the shock of what our futures may look like. We can feel despondent, helpless and hopeless. You do not have to suffer alone, we encourage you to reach out, talking to supportive people can really help. If this stage persists please speak to your GP or a trusted health care professional, it helps to understand that this is a normal reaction and there are options such as medication, counselling and life style changes you may be able to make.

This can be a “why did I do this?” or “If only I hadn’t had this implant”  “what if?” stage in our recovery, “If I had been a better person this may not have happened to me”, these are normal feelings and thoughts, however they are not useful and they hurt. This is often accompanied by feelings of guilt for ending up here. Well, we all had these surgeries, so you are not alone. We urge you to be mindful that you are one of potentially thousands of men and women in Australia alone. There are reports from the USA, Europe and most developed countries of people suffering from mesh injury. This is the time to get educated, look at your options for recovery and start to heal, where possible.

This is the stage of grief where we realise the full impact of our loss. The final stage of knowing where we are, what has happened and what we need to do to pick up the pieces. These stages of grief are fluid and can repeat, it does not mean we are going backwards, it highlights our journey and where we are at and what we need for ourselves in order to heal.  And heal we must and we can.

Understanding the emotional journey we are on can give us tools and skills to draw on, it equips us for the ups and downs of this stage in our life. We may reflect back to other times in our lives when we faced adversity and be able to remember what or maybe who got us through them. When grief and loss are acknowledged we can move through the differing stages in order to heal.

All this being said, it is advisable to connect with others in the same boat and speak to a mental health care professional for support with your feelings if they become overwhelming, instead of bottling them up inside, finding someone that is a good listener and has dealt with trauma can be very soothing and may reduce our feelings of isolation.